Trust...

I got to thinking very seriously about trust today...I spent about 15 minutes on it, and this is what I thought...

People say, “trust me” as an example of just how sure they are about something, or how much faith they hope that you put in them. “My word is my bond”, or “I swear”, “I promise”…all mean, trust me and know that I will not break that trust. Is this ever something that we know for certain?

We reassure each other in hopes of getting people to settle down…calm down…stop stressing...stop asking questions...or to get them to do what we want them to do. Next time I am reassured, can I be assured that it is actually for my benefit? Or is it for someone else’s? Do they want me to settle down so that they can go back to their previously scheduled life, or make me stop asking questions, or making demands, or doing what they don't want me to do? And greater than all of this, will I have an answer to any of these questions BEFORE I burst into a cloud of hysterics?...because surely, being told to trust someone is the first step to Shit Town population 2, me and my upset.

Then what about those things that cannot be controlled? Life and shit BOTH happen daily. Many times I have made out to do something, and for whatever reason it suddenly becomes impossible to do that very thing I said I would. Does that speak of my integrity, or a hectic life style in which I take on too much? I surely didn't mean to let someone down, or to NOT do that thing I swore I was gonna do, had all intentions of doing...sometimes...man, sometimes shit truly does happen, and controlling shit isn't in my job description.

So what violates trust? I mean what truly violates it? Violates it beyond recognition? Is it malicious intent? Is it the cause, or the result of the act? Is it when it has happened too many times, and is that number greater or less depending upon how long you've known someone?  And when have we known someone long enough to judge them? What are these trust boundaries? What raises those stakes? Love, money…health?

Trust me…I have no clue.  I do, however, have my tissues ready because I will undoubtedly have need for them again. Do not take that as pessimism by the way. If we have to consider whether or not to trust, then we just might be on the precipice of something great...or getting a one way ticket out of Shit Town.