Cheerios, White Privlege, and How We Might All Just Get Along...

Over the last few weeks there has been some back lash to a Cheerios commercial. If you've never seen it, it is of a white mother speaking to her daughter who is clearly not just white. After a cute little back and forth about how Cheerios is heart healthy, it cuts to a black father who is covered in Cheerios. Some people thought this terrible. How dare we have an interracial couple? How dare we?
 
To this response, more than one person has mentioned how difficult being black must be. This was the second time, in a month's time, that the idea of being black was pushed at me as a negativism. A few weeks ago someone mentioned white privilege to me, again. I said I hate it, and I do. I'm not sure white people should want to feel bad for being white. They can't help being white anymore than I can help being black, and why would I want to? Why should they HAVE to? I don't feel bad about being black. I was born black and I am perfectly happy in that skin and all that comes along with it; regardless to where I live, go to work, school, or worship. You're born as you are to be who you are (for the record, I mean this in terms of race and ethnicity), why are we apologizing all the time for things that we can't change? (Remember I am talking about what we can't change.)

I suppose (if I take a moment to see it from a white person's view) that they'd like to sympathize with what minorities have suffered through. Well, thanks, seriously, thanks. Here's the thing, if you sympathize you're trying to understand, and that's enough, or at least it is a bloody good start. I don't need you to feel bad for me because I am black (this is something I do NOT feel bad about), and I refuse to feel bad for people feeling bad that they're white. It's stupid. I'm sorry, but it is...wait, I'm not sorry.

I implore you not to perceive being of a different race as a negativism. Hating your race or ethnicity is hating yourself and I cannot condone that. Looking at someone else and thinking that you'd hate to be their particular race or ethnicity is looking your nose down on them, I will not condone that either.

Don't feel bad for me or anyone because they are a different race or ethnicity than you are. You can feel bad for the way someone is treated; you can even speak to the persons or person who are treating someone unjustly, but to develop an entire train of thought to assume the guilt of the centuries before you, no...don't. Or to perceive either a race or an ethnicity as unfortunate for simply being is wrong. Unless you personally did something to someone based upon their race or ethnicity you have nothing to feel sorry about. (I am speaking to this particular issue. If you've, I don't know, kicked a puppy, you should really feel shitty about that.)

Listen, minorities can do anything that the majority can do. Our road might be harder, but that doesn't mean that it is impossible to live a good life, a productive life and a life that is fulfilling. My ancestors made it through displacement, slavery, torture, being miseducated and misunderstood, and yet here I am. I can do anything I want to. I wanted to go to college, and I did. I wanted a MFA and I have one. I wanted a car, a career (I have three actually), a house, and to be a decent person...done, done and done. I've worked hard, I've fallen down gotten up and worked harder; that is all anyone has to do. I still have goals and dreams that I will accomplish despite this supposed privilege that someone has over me. I just think it is silly.

We all have difficult roads on this journey called life; cliché but true.  I'm black; it's not a handicap or a negativism. And as an aside I don't sunburn. I do feel bad for white people who get sun burn. That doesn't seem like a privilege to being white. Does that make me privileged? Should I go door to door every 1st day of summer handing out free bottles of SPF 40 and giving my extreme apologies to the white families? Should I? Should I follow them around with umbrellas shielding them from the sun? Perhaps bring them lemonade and water if I see them outside? All because I feel bad? Or is that silly?

Recognizing that someone will have a harder road than you is polite. Thank you for recognizing that people may treat me differently because I am black, but please, don't take that on. I'm alright...as a people we will be alright if we devote ourselves to being strong and seeking out the positives. I mean all people really. We've come a long way and we have a hell of a long way to go, but I don't think that we get there by making white privilege a thing or hating who we are, or wanting to run from it.

I went to the same high school as my white friends and we all went to Big Ten Conference Schools. I have a higher degree than some of them, some of them have better jobs than I do, some are just trying to make ends meet, some travel the globe, some have never left the country, some are on food stamps, some can't pay their bills, some have 700 credit score ratings, some have STDs, some are LGBT, some can't spell sexuality without blushing...when we get right down to it, color, race...none of it matters. We are born who we are, we lead the lives we've lead, we made good choices and bad choices; we are who are despite race or ethnicity.

Why are we apologizing for who, or rather what, we were born as. I had a white woman once say to me that she had to deal with keeping her white privilege in check every day. "Every. Day." she said putting strength to those words as if they needed more weight than she was capable of giving them. As if she desperately needed me to understand just how agonizing being white can be. I could hear it in her voice; she was attempting to teach me something about the world. It was as if she understood racism far more than I ever could and this was a clear indication into how wrong I was. 

Really? It seems to me that she would've been an entitled asshole regardless of race. It seems to me she would have struggled to keep herself in check...Every. Day... no matter what. It was the journey that life took her on that helped shape her to be who she is. Granted this individual DID have a hard road, I'll give her that, but who we are is ultimately up to us. It's how we deal with the cards we've been dealt. You don't deal with those cards by saying, "Oh woe is me, I was born advantaged over most of the population, and therefore I will remind them of that by inventing a reason to feel bad". Or "Oh woe is me, I was born this race and it is too hard, therefore I will hate it and myself". It's self loathing, and kinda frustrating.

Just stop it people (it isn't all of you) but just stop. We are humans. Just feel bad for me if something bad happens because I am a human being and not because you think you should for a history you did not create. Let's stop giving life to the hate that that history did create. That will make a difference. Ignorance is everywhere, directed at all people. The negative response to this commercial doesn't just hurt black people; it hurts all open minded people committed to diversity and a better world. Until we eradicate ignorance, we're stuck on planet earth all together dealing with it and each other. With that in mind why not start saying, "Hey I'm human and so are you. Let's try to treat each other as such". Now THAT I can get with.

If you STILL need something to make yourself feel as though you have made a difference socially...talk about how the shooting in New Orleans got virtually no coverage in the weeks after Mother's Day. Talk about how black males are still largely misunderstood by the media and tend to be underrepresented in nearly every positive aspect. Read your history and understand that the Emancipation Proclamation didn't end slavery. Tell me what Juneteeth is. Tell me who Marcus Garvey is. Explain to me the dynamics and the differences between the slavery narratives of Fredrick Douglass and Olaudah Equiano. Tell me, do you cross the street when you see a group of "under privileged" teens coming towards you? Are you committed to social diversity and treating people the same, or are you obsessed with fighting a fight, regardless to whom you think is offended?

Sort all of that out 1st, and then perhaps you'll see this whole white privilege thing to be as nonsensical as I do. Think about all of that and perhaps you'll realize that being one race or ethnicity does not give you a privilege over another. Maybe you'll see me as a human and not black female. Now all of this is based on race and ethnicity, if you want to talk socioeconomic status and the privileges therein, that's an entirely different blog post. Of course, this is just my take on it...you'll feel as you do, which is only fair since you're a human being too.